Await Our Wrath

Await Our Wrath

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Letter from a Chinese guy who just got YouTube

Dear Chris Crocker,

There no way I not making fun you! Comrade Jerry Seinfeld said best when he said: "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?" Why do you need sheet Chris Crocker, you Harry Potter, where's magic wand? Oh wait...don't show me that, my eyes explode. I heard you live with grandparents. Did trapeze artists fall on parents while they getting out of clown car at the circus?


What's up with you face? My favorite is combination of five o'clock and eye shadows at same time. And your hair, it looks like someone glue bowl of Asian noodles to your head.
Hey Chris Crocker, if you love Britney so much why don't you just marry her? Oh...nevermind. What's it like in her mansion...you've been their right? Does she return your calls?
When you filmed the Britney thing, did your grandparents hear you? When you said "Leave Britney alone..." (for the 80 bajillionth time) and then said "...I mean it!", that sounded like threat. Were you threatening us, or the West? Because if you threaten China, you disappear and your grandparents never see you again. If you threaten U.S. you get waterboarded.
Chris Crocker, you seem like stand up guy. Someone who like to see progress. I have some literature I can send you. Its about a crassress society with no private party ownership. You could come to Beijing and teach West to leave Stalin and Mao Zedong alone. Think about it.
Xie xie
Pu Ping

No comments: