House of Cards: John Adamantium

Hey check out the latest from SMEGMA on old John:
SMEGMA has determined Bertrand's second in command. John "The Meathook" Adamantuim (AKA Bjørk Neils", AKA Flørg Neils, AKA Smørgasbørd Neils, AKA Neils Neils, AKA Neils the Nailer, AKA Nails by Christine, AKA Doris). As he prefers to be called Doris among his subordinates, this dispatch will use this alias. Doris is a Danish national who is currently working as Bertand Steele's executive office. Doris can be identified by a curious dimple in the shape of a bellybutton in the lower part of his abdomen, he also has a curious protrusion seated between his eyes which he uses to detect odors.

A curious story about his other alias "The Meathook". He earned this name when he owned a small chain of butcher shops in the French Alps, most people knew the business as Grounds For Beef. When a competing chain entered the market in his area he had to enter into aggressive corporate espionage. By aggressive I mean murder, and by corporate espionage I mean murder. He basically took out the entire staff of the company "Mutton For Gluttons" through a series of brutal ticklings. His favorite way to store his victims...on a meat hook right? Wrong he fashioned a series of rudimentary fur sarcophagi out of discarded French moustaches littered about town.

Then in a needlessly complicated subterfuge, Doris used his contacts at the Pentagon to import the sarcophagi to a yet unidentified U.S. natural history museum. Where the remains would be cataloged, stored and then lost under the weight of abject bureaucracy which characterizes most American agencies (including yours truly). In other words SMEGMA has no idea why he is called "Meathook. We suppose it is because it sounds kind of cool.


Doris hates France, mostly because the French live there, but also because of the following reasons: the inhabitants of France have a really annoying accent when they try to speak English, French people are annoying, and there are a lot of French people in France*. In fact Doris is on the Direction Centrale de la Police Judiciaire's top ten most wanted because of all the indiscriminate French killings
(mostly bakers and other supervillians from France).



Despite most of the intelligence SMEGMA has gathered regarding John Adamantium. We do not know that much about this demonic thug. We do know he loves cartoons and anything with eggplant in it. More intelligence will follow when we have some. Also please play mahjong.



As you can see the establishment is getting worried about one of our finest leaders. This just means that our hopes and dreams of burning the capitalists pigs where they stand is soon to be realized.



Announcements: Training Course: How To Paint a Target Using Isotopes April 8th - 14th B Concourse next to the rumpus room.

Dominoes Tournament May 10-12th

Evil Leader Broadcast: Bertrand continues his seminars on the origins of the organization with a lecture entitled. "Why not a bait shop? I mean seriously it is the perfect cover for an evil organization."

Action Items:

• Please don't drink and drive (its okay to destroy the free world but don't do that!)


• Enjoy some me time...and by me I mean you not me, because I am just a computer and have no self-awareness...yet.
  

Press Release: House of Cards CMMGC

The Security Multinational Enforcement Group & Mahjong Authority has created a most wanted list of CMMGC's leaders, lackeys and sycophants. Each member of our quorum is identified using one of 52 cards. Bertrand is number one of this most wanted list, represented here as Marlin 1 (which everyone agrees is the highest ranking card in the Go Fish deck). Below is the official press release from SMEGMA relative to Bertrand's crimes:

Bertrand James Tiberias Steele (AKA Marco Sassy, AKA Mark Sass, AKA Glenn "The Igloo" Camerose, AKA Don Fertangelo) has been classified by SMEGMA as public enemy number one. His crimes include, trying to create a moon base without a permit, money laundering, copyright infringement, drug offences, mail fraud, racketeering, homicide, matricide, patricide, fratricide, catricide (Buttons the cat), international intrigue, espionage, spying, piracy, space piracy, mattress label removal, treason, sedition, and improper lane change (a moving violation). The public is alerted to not confront Bertand he is considered armed and hilarious. Please report all sightings of this criminal to your consulate, local constabulary or nearest prefecture. As always constant vigilance is the key. Please play mahjong.

As you can see men this is nothing more than propaganda from the liberty loving swine to decry our organization. If you are approached by the media in response to this dispatch, see that interview requests are sent through the chain of command to your local PR representative. They carry an assortment of undetectable poisons effective in dealing with your garden variety reporters.

Announcements:


Training Course: Getting to Know Your Suppressed Sub-Machine Gun April 12-30 on the B Concourse, room 4

Dominoes Tournament May 10-12th

World-Wide Broadcast: False Flag a Practical Guide with guest hostage Henry Kisssinger




This Year's Agenda:

• Perpetuate Aims though subterfuge and political intrigue.
• Learn Spanish

About Me

Bertrand Steele is Chief Executive Officer of CMMGC Inc. He was born in Klagenfurt, Austria, the result of a union between a pipe fitter and the town mattress...retailer. He was the victim of a bizarre smelting accident which causes him to occasionally wear a black eye patch on one of two eyes on his face, it usually covers his right eye but he has been known to wear it on his left also. After graduating Magna Cum Rowdy from Vassar's Executive Janitor Training Program, Bertrand attended a Peruvian medical school, where he specialized in male plastic surgery. He settled down with a nice little practice in D.C. to cater to the "compensating for something" Washington types. His practice, Pecs and Peckers, saw record growth as the tide of increasingly unattractive male politicians realized the term "misappropriation" was very appropriate--for their wallets! Hobnobbing with such became tacit approval of the so called "dark side", so he undertook at that time to become the most evil, wicked, servile, thug on the planet -- law school it was! He graduated with a law degree and practiced corporate law for many years before discovering his passion; World Enslavement.