How to Annoy the Authorities in Your Local Prefecture

Lately I find myself browsing the Internet in search of local statutes of limitations on various types of crimes. I use this information to confess to crimes I did not commit that took place just past the deadline. It's fun to see the cop's faces when they realize they can't hold me on those federal racketeering charges or bootlegging. I think I was even some cop's white whale. It's a sickness really.

Women's Studies

"A woman without her man is nothing." Now my friends at the Lodge would say "Punctuate this thusly.": "A woman, without her man, is nothing." But my friends at the pet adoption place would intersperse in this wise: "A woman: without her, man is nothing." I rather like this interpretation: A: Woman, W: ithout-her, M: an, I: s, N: othing. This turns the sentence into an easy, if asynchronous vocabulary test question. Which the answer to the previously implied component to the question "Which is the real word?", is of course: N. Othing. I like to othing things. Othing.

UCMJ = (Something in Chinese)

Was reading reading through the eponymous Uniform Code of Military Justice, where it clearly states in chapter 10: Punitive Articles, subsection 94: Mutiny and Sedition, paragraph 3: Failing to Prevent, sentence 1, word 20, letter 4: "L". I found that very interesting, very interesting indeed. The Chinese analog to this same document and location reads: "简", you thought I was going to say "R" didn't you? Shame on you, you racist!

Somthing that I am really passionate about!

I am really passionate about mustaches.

The Randomness of Cheese

I like that cheese sometimes has holes and sometimes does not have holes, it's totally random. I might choose a delicious Swiss cheese sandwich and the cheese might have holes, alternatively, if I were to make that same Swiss cheese sandwich with Gruyère and maybe leave out the Swiss, it might not have holes, who knows. Because you see, holes in cheese is decided by the fates and not by some cheese making process whereby the cheese-maker adds Propionibacter Shermani that produces carbon dioxide which forms whole bubbles in the cheese, that when cut into thin slices manifest as holes in the slices of cheese.