Sports Team

My preferred sports team is superior to all of your preferred sports teams, unless your preferred sports team is the same as my preferred sports team. There has been a lot of talk recently about how your preferred sports team is superior to mine, but this is not true, my preferred sports team is superior to yours in both points scoring and points loss avoidance.

Because you may not believe this assertion I have prepared a short list of evidence-based arguments which should dissuade even the most ardent of critics.

1. My headlining player number 54 is better, within the confines of the sport's comparative statistical datasets, than is your comparable headlining player number 23. He is stronger, faster, better capable of handling the item being propelled up and down the gaming boundary, appeals to a wider audience of sports-goers, enjoys a greater number of commercial sponsorships, has a larger pool of female admirers and fewer sexually transmitted diseases than does your player.

2. The coach of my preferred sports team has a better record of motivating his players to more successfully propel the subject of the sports game up and down the gaming boundary, than does your coach, such that my team is better at scoring points than your team is. Additionally, the coach of my preferred sports team enjoys a greater level of esteem, charisma and recruitment capital than does your coach. Which enables him to enlist far more proficient players of the sport than the coach of your team is capable of enlisting. Lastly, the coach of my preferred sports team has greater mental faculties, reasoning skills and strategic powers than the coach of your preferred sports team does. This makes him better at formulating a plan of attack that optimizes the skill-sets of his players, which results in better overall performance on the scoreboard than your coach.

3. The home venue of my preferred sports team is superior to the venue where your preferred sports team is based. This venue accommodates a greater number of spectators, has better seating, and contracts with more appealing vendors than does the venue where your preferred sports is based. The venue where my preferred sports is based is more convenient to police, fire and other emergency services and is in closer proximity to major highways and public transportation than does your venue. It is also closer to finer restaurants than is your venue. And of course the home field advantage enjoyed by my team's venue is more beneficial to my team's performance, than is the benefit reaped by your team playing in their home venue.

4. My preferred team's logo is superior to your team's logo. It enjoys greater brand recognition, and brand loyalty than does your logo. It is more creatively designed and is more aesthetically pleasing than is the logo of your preferred sports team. The logo for my preferred sports team is more likely to sell T-Shirts and hats than is the logo your team uses.

5. The mascot of my preferred sports team is better than the mascot of your preferred sports team. It is more sensible and offends fewer groups of people. My mascot inspires 40-50% more interest in halftime festivities than does the mascot for your team. My team's mascot is cuter and cuddlier than is your team's mascot. My team's mascot's anthropomorphization was better realized by its designers and seamstresses than was the anthropomorphization of your team's mascot by those who your team's management employed to design and sew the costume.

and finally...

6. The notoriety in poplular media of my preferred sports team is greater and more commercially viable than is the notoriety in popular media of your preferred sports team. My team has been mentioned more times on Perry Mason, Happy Days, Taxi, Whose The Boss, Seinfeld, 30 Rock and The Today Show than your team has over the years. Additionally my preferred team has had more songs by The Beatles, the Boss and Bananarama devoted to them than your preferred team has had.

As you can see, this constitutes a strong argument for the adoption of a broad-based opinion that my team is better than your team.

And lastly, Suck It! That is all.

Why'd He Do It?

CHATLOG 2/23/2010 7pm

Dave

I can't believe he finally did it

7:07 PM Mr. Duck

who did what?

7:07 PM Dave sends

:

Transfer of "eyore.bmp" is complete.

7:08 PM Mr. Duck

hahahaha awwwww poor eeyore

7:09 PM Dave

well, with that depression he had, it must have been tough. frankly I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner.

7:10 PM Mr. Duck

Yea I know... he needed medication I'm surprised with all those friends he didn't get any

7:12 PM Dave

He had no support. I mean Rabbit would sooner step on your face as lose a freakin' carrot. Pooh, and his OCD thing with Honey...all he cared about was gettin his latest fix. Piglet was just a loser...I mean you can't help others until you help yourself. And then there's that damn Tigger! ‘T’ ‘I’ double g'rrr, my Ass. Stupid jock!

7:12 PM Mr. Duck

haha good points indeed what about owl or Kanga?

7:14 PM Dave

Kanga was an enabler and Owl has dementia, Roo, well let's just say if there is a Kangaroo youth lockup, well he'll be in it very soon that’s a guarantee

7:16 PM Mr. Duck

awww... poor Winnie the Pooh and Friends

is there any good ones?

what about Christopher

7:23 PM Dave

I think Christopher was put in an impossible situation. He has his own life to worry about. When you boil it down, these friends of his are like millstones. Here he is trying to go to school so he doesnt have to take a job in the food service industry, and these people are just one problem after another, he does his best, but he cant put out fires all day. Plus Pooh is a full time job all by himself and Christopher just doesn’t manage his time well, and why should we expect him to, he's 8.

Waldo Dead Aged 61

A murder most foul it's been called in City of Industry, CA. Monday as authorities try to sort out the events that unfolded over the weekend. Wally Wanderclue, also known as Waldo of children's book fame was found dead this week in his 80,000 Sq Ft. Mansion Sunday night. Wally was an inspiration for many children's eye puzzlers over the years. "At first we didn't know what we were looking at." said veteran homicide detective Stephan Cochrane, "The room was a convoluted, the clutter of misplaced objects permeated every inch of the residence. In one corner there seemed to be an Egyptian theme, we could see obelisks, sarcophagi and Jackal figurines. In another area we observed a pirate motif, with things like Jolly Roger flags, eye patches and the like were stacked to the rafters. Then I saw it. At first I thought it was a clever dummy. Upon further inspection the image was unmistakable, that bespectacled glassy-eyed gaze, and beanie hat, add to that the trademark red and white striped shirt, now stained with blood. It was Waldo". The police say that Wanderclue was beloved by all, so finding suspects will be hard due to lack of motive. However it did appear to be robbery according to CIPD. Another mystery due to be solved will be with regards to Wanderclues estate. "Where's Waldo Jr.? Cochrane questioned. The 15 year detective said that Wally did indeed have an estranged love-child. The result of a fling with him and a travelling carney. Despite his relative popularity, Wanderclue was a solitary man with few friends, a social recluse that was hard to spot at a party, or social gathering and/or panoramic photo op with random seemingly inordinate groupings of color-coordinated objects and people. Regardless, one thing is clear, the mystery is sure to thicken. We all know Where's Waldo now. Heaven...that's right heaven!!!

Recent Time Travel Experience:

Recent Time Travel Experience:

Pharaoh Akhenaten has an attitude. All I told him was that the penicillin would cure his syphilis. He said if he had it his way he would curse me in the tombs of his fathers. What did that mean? He said "What sorcery is this? That I can ingest a simple tablet and my illness will go away." One of his henchmen approached me and laid a scimitar before me. He said "you will now engage in mortal combat you foul infidel." Reflecting on my passion for movies I remembered when Indy was confronted by a crazy sword man, in that spirit I pulled out my .38 revolver...and well you've seen Raiders. He fell like a sack of potatoes. It was then that Akhenaten bowed before me. He said "lazhma hashis illii iki iki". Translated literally this means: "You have the powers of the gods" So now whenever you are reading ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics and you see a peculiar sideways L,that's actually my piece, a Winchester .38 with a laser scope, silencer and the serial number filed down.